


textured hands

by burbs



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, POV Second Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 17:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5057227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burbs/pseuds/burbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pent up emotions and desires suddenly fall into place like gravity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	textured hands

**Author's Note:**

> *lies on my floor* this is the first sexy fic i've ever written i hope you guys like it *dies of embarrassment and goes to church*

Textured fingers slide between your thighs, hesitance and arousal evident with the shaking and you never thought you would see Gon so nervous over anything. You can’t really blame him since you’re a bundle of nerves yourself, unbearably hard despite the distinct lack of touching so far and heart about to jump out of your throat.

 

You feel completely ripped apart.

 

“Is this okay?” There’s a slight choke at the beginning of the sentence and oh how cruel! How could Gon ask that, your mind races on how to reply because god yes, yes, yes this is definitely okay this is more okay please continue but also you’re scared and insecure and the thought of saying you want this makes your brain want to implode on itself. You’re pretty sure you could say it if you were joking but you’re not, this is very real and very personal and very important and-

 

Gon’s eyes meet yours and there’s that fear in them too, he licks his lips and stops moving completely, waiting for you, his face is red and you can feel the heat from here. You look down and see his bulging shorts and you know, of course you know how much Gon wants this too. You both want to continue but in this moment you’re terrified standing on a cliff together, one that you honestly didn’t really believed existed before.

 

It’s not like you haven’t thought of Gon... in this way before, you’ve thought about it embarrassingly way too much, enough that if there were some nen mind reader out there you’re paranoid of them hearing about it. You’re not sure when your best friend became so... unbelievably attractive to you but it happened somewhere and it takes all your effort to not stare sometimes, to not blatantly want, guilt and logic being the only things keeping you in check.

 

But then logic gets thrown out the window smashed on and burned up because one second you’re hanging out with your best friend on the hotel bed playing video games and the next inexplicable moment there’s chapped lips on yours. You’re not even sure who began the kiss or how you faces ended up so close together in the first place. Logic takes a brutal beating in your brain and like a switch you’re both doing more than kissing, you’re _touching,_ and you’re most undoubtedly making out in a hotel bed with your best friend that you’ve been in love with for god knows how long.

 

You try to think in this moment but you’re lost in a maze of sensation and want and inhibitions released. Gon licks at your lips and you almost bite his tongue with the shock of it but now he’s licking inside your mouth, playing hopscotch with your tongue, getting chummy with your teeth, and mapping out the wet inside with dedication.

 

At first it feels kinda weird even though your heart is probably about to leap out of your chest and leave you for the abuse you’re putting it through. It’s a bit wet but it’s also Gon and he bites your lip and then he sucks and you make _a sound_ , you start exploring too and try to ignore the hand on your side that’s peeking under your shirt, the teasing sensation of cold hands against skin. You try to ignore the need to let out noise because it’s making you lose this moaning contest you’ve both got going on. Gon is in the lead with causing you to make at least five embarrassing sounds by now. You need to make Gon make more noises but it’s hard as the hand roams across your stomach and you shiver and whimper at the sensation, how unfair.

 

You’re pretty sure you’ve never been so sensitive but for some reason the act of Gon touching you drives you up a wall, amplifying ever sensation to the limit.

 

Gon breaks away from the kiss for air and you’re both staring at each other, Gon’s lips are wet with your saliva and that’s incredibly hot, the slick shine making you want to chase after his mouth even though you’re in desperate need for air.

 

Gon breathes heavily on your face and if you weren’t completely and totally lost in the moment you would be pushing him away telling him that’s gross. Instead your breaths mix together and it’s hot it’s too hot you feel yourself overheating.

 

For a split second clarity takes over and you think Gon is going to back away and—

 

He dives back in, mauling your neck. His fingers sprawl over your stomach and it tickles at the same time you feel shivers of sensation going straight down. It’s hot and he’s sucking on your neck, licking and biting and you’re barely able to contain the soft sounds and gasps you make. His hand wanders up towards your chest and your lungs heave for air this is all too much.

 

Gon licks your earlobe and you feel it shoot straight to your dick and all of a sudden too much becomes a cacophony of _not enough_. You let out your loudest noise yet, a half gasp half whine that you almost care enough to get embarrassed over but then he nips at your ear and you make the sound again hips jerking up uncontrollably.

 

Gon needs to touch you more, you need to have him touching you all over you need his warm calloused hands over your—

 

 

 

 

Textured hands slide between your thighs and he ask if this is alright.

 

Logic comes crashing down on you and you’re now hyperaware of the situation you’re in. Gon is leaning over you, hand under your shirt that’s hiked up to right below your nipples, other hand between your thighs teasing the area right below your shorts, face burning hot and neck ravaged.

 

Gon is looking down at you and you’re both still breathing heavily and his face is so fucking red you honestly can’t believe you would ever see such an expression on his face, you honestly didn’t think Gon felt aroused about anything, and yet here he is staring at you with equal parts fear and lust and oh god.

 

He asks if this is okay, is it okay? You’ve both been best friends since you were twelve, how could you soil something so precious to your heart, that’s what you’ve been telling yourself since the moment you realized your feelings laid in the not so platonic field. Every romantic or much worse _lustful_ thought had left you with a handbasket of crushing guilt. You’re not even really interested in those sorts of things in the first place why are you thinking about them so much when it comes to Gon? What is it about him that makes you want to touch gently and protect and cherish in ways probably definitely inappropriate from a friend? You had never intended on falling in love with him you had just wanted a friend, a companion in the face of crushing loneliness and isolation from affection. Why did you fall in love with Gon instead of all the other friends you’ve made over the years, because Gon is your best friend? Because he’s your age?

 

Is it really all for simple reasons like that?

 

A part of you rages _no_ because it’s not something you can sum up or describe like that. It’s like some sort of physics, inevitable like gravity. It all comes out of you so naturally that overanalyzing it feels useless; it just feels like another law of the universe, throw stuff up it falls back down; Killua is in love with Gon.

 

“Killua” The heady voice from before is replaced with one accompanied more by fear and nerves.

 

You look Gon in the eyes and you still can’t say anything, you’re paralyzed.

 

You haven’t even told Gon your feelings?

 

Does Gon feel the same way for you?

 

Did he just feel horny and feel like why not?

 

Gon’s hand leaves your thigh and replacing its warmth is a stinging coldness. He starts backing away and you feel panic rise to your throat, you can hear the inevitable take back, the excuses and the telling you to forget about it.

 

You don’t think you can ever forget these feelings, you’ve tried and you definitely won’t be able to forget the sensation of being wanted back. Whether it was from romantic feeling or not you’d just been given a taste of something absurdly delicious.

 

Your thighs are cold and you can still feel with perfect clarity where his calloused fingers had been resting.

 

You’d already jumped off a cliff, the second his lips met yours you were already freefalling, and this all was the futile reach for a branch before you hit the bottom.

 

You want to reach out and kiss this perfect boy again, you need to, and you have to, but the ‘is this okay’ leaves you immobile. Despite all of the crazy shit you’ve done in your life you’re not brave enough to let the words that need to be said spill out. They’re locked tight and laced with shame and negativity and you can’t bring yourself to do it.

 

Gon moves further away and your whole body feels cold, it screams at you to chase after that warmth.

 

“Killua, do you want me to stop?”

 

You’re still so turned on, your erection straining painfully in your shorts, every part of you doesn’t want to stop. The only thing you want to stop is to stop thinking but _you can’t_.

 

“I-” The word barely chokes out past the lump in your through, Gon’s eyes search yours, “I don’t know.” You’re breathing heavily and somewhere between this and the touching you’ve started hyperventilating.

 

Why is this so overwhelming? People have sex all the time, people fall in love all the time, people have sex and make out with people that they love all the time. This is nothing to freak out about.

 

“Everything is just…” You can barely get the words past the hyperventilating; you squeeze your eyes shut and try to breathe normally, years of training wasted in the face of one boy.

 

You’re falling down a cliff but you think you’re alone on this one. A part of you feels like you’ve been holding hands this whole time but with a kiss Gon let go and just let you fall and fall. Was it Gon that kissed you though? Was it yourself? Was it magnetism?

 

You _want_ you want to continue, but there’s also need and you need something else before everything will unlock and you don’t know what.

 

You’re eyes open and you’re mortified by the tears you feel brimming and obscuring you vision and you meet his eyes “Gon…” you voice cracks, _you crack_ , like you were a coconut and Gon just smashed you against a rock.

 

You feel ripped apart.

 

Gon’s eyes shine brightly and you notice he’s tearing up too and all of a sudden he’s hands on your face and he’s whispering soft apologies at you, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry, I never want—” his voice cracks spectacularly and he’s crying too and your lip shakes with that _horrible_ wobble and there’s a wetness and for split second you’re convinced it’s yours but you look up and it’s Gon’s and _oh._

 

Impulse and affection pulls you forward and you’re kissing his face, kisses his tears and his cheeks and his nose and his eyes and chin and his forehead, everywhere but the lips.

 

“Killuaaa” Gon cries and oh this is too much but you shush him and kiss his dumb face, your hands in his hair and he sniffles spectacularly and you laugh.

 

Gon looks up at you and his face is red but his nose is redder and his eyes are red and you wipe a tear away with your thumb and you’ve got this ridiculous dumb smile on your face but you can’t wash it off.

 

A tear falls down your cheek and Gon licks it up and you laugh more, your face feels like it’s burning again but Gon literally just licked a tear off your face.

 

Something shifts and slides and you meet his gaze again and he has that lopsided smile again and his eyes are perfect shade of _warmth_.

 

Like magnets your lips meet again. This kiss is gentler than the last one, Gon’s lips don’t feel as chapped as they did before and you both are just pecking at each other with giggles bursting out in between. Gon whispers happy “Killua”s at you and it squeezes at your heart in the most perfect ways. You bite at his lips during one of the pecks, before he can pull away, and then you’re devouring him. Your hands are on his shoulders reaching for his shoulder blades and you dig deeper into Gon’s mouth and he _moans_ and it vibrates against you and you suck at his tongue.

 

And like that you’re both in full gear, moving faster than before, want pile driving you forward. Your hands are exploring Gon’s back, hiking up his shirt to his clavicle and he’s sucking at your neck again and he’s palming against your chest and you make a whine when he touches your nipples, his thumbs brushing against the stubs and if you thought it felt good when he touched your ear you were wrong. You’re in his lap and before you can stop yourself you’re grinding your hips down on his and then _he_ whines and almost immediately he’s grinding up at you and oh god, god, god.

 

And you realize you’re almost chanting Gon’s name as you frott against each other desperate for more friction.

 

Gon pushes you onto your back and his mouth finds you nipples and he _sucks_ and your hands are in his hair pulling and pushing, and he digs his crotch into yours harshly and his name is coming out like a desperate prayer and Gon is saying yours with each breath.

 

Gon starts fumbling with the hem of your shorts as he nips at your other nipple and his other hand rubs up your thigh.

 

“Killua” he whispers as he moves his face next to yours and he’s asking. You take your pants off and the rest of your shirt and Gon backs away for the third time that night and this time he’s just looking at you with want and appreciation and your dick twitches with it. Gon is _looking_ at you and that’s probably what turns you on the most.

 

“Gon?” and his mouth crashes against yours and his textured hands grab onto your dick and it feels _so good_ and he starts pumping at it, smearing precum that you hadn’t realized was already there. You’re fumbling at his shorts too because you want to _touch_ too. He shakes them off after you pull them down to his thighs you grab onto his erection and he makes a loud whine. You pump it in time with what he’s doing with yours and that’s when he loses it

 

“K-killua, oh-ohgod Killua that feels so good Killua please oh my god more p-please--! I need, Killua you’re so beautiful Ki-Killua!” He whines into your neck as you have him like putty between your fingers, “I-i-it feels so good when you touch me, Killua, Ki-Killua this is too good, I’m! Killua please, ooh g-god” He thrusts into your hand and he’s so desperate that something cruel comes over you.

 

In a flash you’ve flipped positions and you’re on top of him, sitting on his lap with his back on the bed. Gon is momentarily surprised but tries to thrust back into your hands again. Unfortunately he doesn’t notice the hand on his hip that’s keeping him in place.

 

You start slowly moving your hands, thumb brushing over the tip slowly and Gon _whines_ “Killua please, please touch me mo-more, Killua”

 

You lick the precum off your thumb with your other hand keeping Gon firmly in place and you grin. It tastes bitter and salty but you don’t care because Gon is a hot mess underneath you and he’s looking oh so longingly at your lips.

 

“Hmm what was that Gon? I didn’t get that?” You smile down coyly, eyes full of mischief and Gon is desperately trying to thrust his hips up in desperate need for friction despite the only thing he’ll receive for it is air. You lick your other finger, it still tastes bitter but for some reason you start to like it, it’s Gon’s taste after all and something about that drives you crazy, your dick twitching against Gon’s thighs.

 

You have so many ideas of what you could do right now, with Gon under you _begging_ , and try to resist the urge to just do them all for fear you’ll never get this opportunity again. Despite all anxiety a part of you is sure that this isn’t going to be the last time and that you don’t have to worry, in between Gon begging you to touch him and the smiles and tears from earlier something has solidified under your feet.

 

“Ohh my g-godd, Killu-kkilluaa please, I need more, I-I’m!” Gon is pleading at you and you swat away a hand that’s reaching towards his crotch. As much as you like the idea of Gon touching himself in front of you, _you_ want to be the one to make him cum, drive him crazy with your own hands. “Pl-please” His dick twitches and more precum comes out and oh man he looks delicious.

 

You’re not sure if you’re ready for something like that yet so instead you take it in your hands again, but this time you’ve got your erection too and you’re pumping both.

 

Gon loses it at finally being touched and you bite your lip so hard you accidentally draw some blood but you don’t care the feeling of his dick sliding against yours, getting wetter and wetter is overloading your senses. Gon’s hands join yours and you’re both thrusting and pumping and you’re kissing again, this time as a way to ground yourselves in the sensation.

 

You can feel yourself getting closer and closer and to be honest you’re surprised you’ve lasted as long as you have considered you were pretty sure you were going to cum in your pants much earlier.

 

“Killua, oh god, it feels so good--!” Gon is talking into your mouth and you don’t care because it’s actually kind of sexy, “Kil-! Killua, I’m gonna!!” The thrusting becomes wilder and you lose all sense of rhythm as you both start racing towards climax.

 

You let out a cry when you cum and Gon buries himself into your neck groaning loudly, both of you still thrusting wildly through the orgasm.

 

 

 

You’re both lying on the hotel bed together covered in each other’s cum and breathing heavily. You’re side by side and Gon’s hands are next to yours and you can feel your pinkies touch.

 

“Why the hell didn’t we do that sooner?” Gon asks and there’s a list of reasons you could write a thesis over but instead all you can say in the post-coital bliss is:

 

“I honestly have no idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> if ya'll ready to sin some more you can find more trash on my nsfw art blog bnsfwrbs.tumblr.com


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